Farewell
by Wendy402
Summary: I took a step forward, droplets of water dripping from my hair. I couldn't accept it. I just couldn't. He can't just die on me like this. Because I loved him. I did.


**Character death. Maybe. :P Hope you guys enjoy my _shortshortshort_ one-shot! :D Inspired by** **'The Funeral' by WhySoSerious16. Thank you BrimstoneButterfly for reminding me of the story ^.^**

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It was a dark, cold, rainy day.

The atmosphere around all of us was grim and dire. No one was able to smile as they stared at the splattering droplets of rain against the concrete floor.

We all made our way to the cemetery, which was located on top of a hill in the outskirts of Tokyo. The cemetery seemed to be covered with dark shadows on this day.

Anna, Nono and Sumire each held a bundle of crimson carnations, meaning love, pride and admiration, because they _knew_ he loved them. He would always stare at them far longer than usual whenever he walked past them in the academy garden.

The guys wore black suits and us, the girls, wore black dresses for respect of the dead.

This was no laughing matter for any of us.

He was so very, very dear to all of us, no one wanted to see him go.

It was too early.

Too unexpected.

I choked back a cry.

After what seemed like hours of weaving through the big, big cemetery, walking in pairs so only half the amount of umbrellas were needed, we finally arrived in front of his grave. It was still fresh, barely a week old, and yet it was already dripping wet from the rain; dirty, muddy. His name was carved clearly on the gravestone that stood proud and tall, just like he's always been.

We stopped almost a foot away from his grave, everyone not wanting to go nearer, not wanting to accept the truth, not wanting to look at his stone.

All but me.

Because I loved him.

I did.

"I-If only I did better." I whispered to myself, staring down at the dull, grey stone that stared back at me, unblinking, unwavering.

Just like he did before.

My husband stood next to me; Ruka wrapped a warm arm around my freezing cold shoulders and gave them a gentle squeeze.

"It's not your fault, Mikan. No one wanted this to happen." He denied gently, his voice ever so soft. I couldn't bare to look at him.

"But it's _my_ fault! If only—If only I hadn't abandoned him with marriage…" I covered my face with my wet hands and sobbed. "I promised—!"

"No, no. It's my fault. He was my best friend, and yet I couldn't protect him. I couldn't help him." Ruka squeezed my shoulders again. Anna let out a sniff behind us.

"Please don't blame yourself, Mikan." Sumire came up behind us and gave me a light pat on the back. I looked up at her face. Her voice was calm but her eyes were obviously watery, despite the rain, and she looked about ready to break down.

Who could blame her?

We all loved him.

I grit my teeth in pain.

I took a step forward, droplets of water dripping from my hair.

"That's right." I muttered as I glared down on the grave. "It's not my fault, it's _yours._ It's _your_ fault you died so early. You didn't even give us a chance to save you. _You're_ the one at fault!" I screamed loudly, and I knew I was being incredibly mean and awfully unreasonable, but no one made a sound or utter a single complaint because they felt the same way as I did; they understood why I was doing this.

I couldn't accept it.

I just couldn't.

He can't just _die_ on me like this.

"Maybe…" I started, hating myself for saying this, and knew he would hate me for saying it too. "Maybe we shouldn't have gotten married."

"Don't be silly," Ruka shook his head fiercely. "This and that are two completely different things." He looked behind me for a lost second.

"His life is very short, Mikan." He whispered in the rain. "We all know that. From the very beginning. There was no doubt he would die much earlier than us. This is just fate. All we can do is accept it."

"I don't _want_ to!" I screamed and covered my ears, not wanting to hear any more. "I can't accept this. Never! I don't want him to die! I love him!" I wailed and screamed so hard my sides and my throat hurt.

I dared to glance at Ruka and saw his eyes harden, his old facade came back; the one he used to use all the time at school before I knew him.

"Don't say that." He muttered to me, holding my arms, trying to pry them away from my ears and make me listen. "Please don't say that."

"Why not!?" I countered, flailing my arms, trying to get out of his strong grasp. "I just don't want him to die!"

"It's already happened!" Ruka yelled, trying to make me settle down. "We can't do anything about it. Right now, all we can do is pray for him. Hope he is happier in the afterlife." My tears were unable to stop, I could no longer distinguish them from the rain, but I knew they were there, because my eyes stung a whole lot. But I calmed down with his words and settled with sniffing.

"Come on," he urged. "Bow." I followed his lead and bowed before his grave, my head hung low in respect and love. Behind us, the entire gang did the same thing.

"I wish you good luck in the afterlife." I whispered before I lifted my head, and the rain slowly lightened up, then a ray of sun shined through the grey clouds, onto his gravestone, illuminating it.

"Oi!" Natsume called behind us, and I looked back and wondered for a brief moment: wasn't he just standing next to me?

An unpleasant frown stretched on his face as he stared at me with his usual nonchalant attitude, even at a time like this. "It's about time we get going. I'm sure Usagi-kun is happy in the afterlife."

"But—" I sniffed slightly, my voice trembling. "I was the one who did this!"

"It was a heart attack, Mikan. The rabbit's old. He had numerous problems a long time ago. Tell her, Ruka, as a vet. How much longer do you think he would have lived?"

Ruka thought for a moment, probably calculating. "I guess no more than three weeks. He was pretty old, Mikan, and he _did_ have a lot of health problems."

"Still!" I stubbornly insisted.

"Look, this has nothing to do with our marriage. Taking care of that rabbit is not your obligation. Right?" Natsume crossed his arms while Ruka nodded at his statement and gave me a pat.

"Listen to your husband, Mikan. It's really not your fault." He told me.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. "I'll…I'll try to let it go. I'll come visit him every month or so."

"That would make him very happy, Mikan." He smiled his charming smile and I was set free from my grave sins of killing his best friend.

"Natsume," I ran up to my dear husband, who's features seemed to lighten up a bit, and hooked my arm in his.

"Alright, Usagi-kun would want us to be happy. He's always been the best pet ever." Koko grinned and his dirty blonde hair stood out most in the group of black. "Let's have fun and show him that he has nothing to worry about up there in heaven."

"I agree." Sumire stated ever so confidently, her sadness from a moment ago swept away. "We will all remember him in our hearts. He will never perish."

"Then…" Ruka gave me and Natsume a gentle smile. "How about pizza? Mikan, you should treat us, to compensate for your wrongdoings." He teased and they laughed.

"What?" My eyes widened. "But you just said it wasn't my fault!"

"You insisted it was." Natsume gave me a flick in the forehead. "Take responsibility for the things you said."

"I—" I had nothing to say. I was speechless. It was _true_ that I was blaming myself for Usagi-kun's death just a moment ago. It's only right I treated them.

"Fine." I sighed reluctantly.

We all made our way out the cemetery, much lighter and happier than we were before when we first came.

I was last to leave, and I turned back to take another long look at his grave. I could almost see the cute rabbit jumping up and down to encourage me.

I really loved him.

"Oi, hurry up, will you?" My husband called at the gates and I gladly ran up to him, slipping my hands in his large, warm ones.

"I really do love Usagi-kun."

"But you love me more." Came is arrogant reply. I thought for a moment, pondering on his confident comment.

"Nah." I laughed.

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 **Did I trick you guys? ;)**

 **Please R &R!**


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